We are Not a tailless monkey playing follow the leader. We are the eyes, ears, lips, hips and fingertips of the Universe and we have a tale.
My parents divorced at my birth. My facial deformity was too much for my mother to afford, so my father took me with him. An honorable man, exMarine just home from service, he did his best.He did the right thing! Having a hairlip caused a speech deformity also. My step siblings regarded me as retarded and named me “Maggot.” I wasn’t just abused. I was tortured on every possible level they could find. As the youngest and smallest I was defenseless no matter how hard I tried.
At age 3 my earliest memory is of me trying to stab my stepbrother in the foot with a knife to try to make him feel pain also. I failed. I think it was a plastic knife. I got no love, no emotional support. I was traumatized so severely that my emotional growth ceased at age 9. I was beaten down at every turn for 15 years. I ran away. I tried suicide. I got drunk. I even failed at drinking myself to death. I was so inadequate, inferior, insecure, and been lied to, abused, accused and misused. I was through!!!
Or so I thought. It’s not possible for me to be in a mature relationship with a woman. All attempts in 35 years have failed with Heartbreak. When I realized I would never find love or have a family is when it finally happened.
I died. I don’t know how long I was dead, but right before I died, while I could see my life in front of me, there were these glowing pearls of light. The rest of my life was like ashes, so I gathered up the pearls knowing they were my friends’ love for me. I didn’t find anything on the other side. I felt nothing. I felt empty and I felt dark. But, I had PEARLS!!!
So I used their light to create an island with a waterfall pond in the center. The pond lets you see the effect you caused in life. The next thing I know, I’m back in my body but I’m different now. I’m really super happy to be alive!!! I see beauty in everything that I didn’t see before. I’m so happy, I dance in circles sometimes.
I got to Washington, D.C., and was immediately drawn into the classroom. I started speaking to students from everywhere, Georgetown, UMD, American University and local high schools. I worked at the White House with Prop 1, a nuclear activist group. I participate in “Dream Bridge” a group who helps children blinded by Agent Orange.
I want to be the greatest blessing to humanity I can be! The reason is, before I died and was the lowest man on Earth, someone loved me anyway and they shared their soul with me to the degree that a remnant of their resonance made it into the empty place and saved my soul. It wasn’t just one person. I had several pearls.
I came here to meet my mother for the first time. Apparently I have a nephew who goes to HSU and my mother and I were supposed to get together. When she didn’t show, I had an emotional relapse. Being abandoned by your mother is bad but twice is more than I was prepared for.
I might have had some kind of breakdown after my absentee mother didn’t show. Thankfully, Mary Wade and Hillarie Beyer at the McKinleyville Family Resource Center were there for me. It’s the sweetest place in town and I call it Marysville. I love them! I seek out humanitarians. And I want their soul prints for my Universe. They have my first flutes; the McKinleyville FRC is by far the kindest and gentlest receivers of people in crisis I’ve ever come across. I’ve studied to be a grief minister after losing my childhood. The Universe sent me to the right people for my own grief healing recovery.
Life is GOOD!!!!
I started to leave Humboldt when the Occupation came into existence. I just happened to have nothing to do, so I made pancakes for everybody. I’m still unsure of what really happened with the Occupation but I got to make a lot of great friends here. I got to live on campus for two semesters.
The students at the Mushroom Club, CCAT and Drum Church are the living Gems and Jewels of the Universe!! We are very fortunate! They let me play music with them all the time. They have my flutes. They call me Wizard Steve. I love them!!!
I prefer to produce my own energy. I make saltwater batteries, thermal electric generators (TEGS), and thermal panels. We are entering the Golden Age of Ambient Energy! By learning noninvasive energy production, we become closer to being able to create our own Universe!!!
We are Not a tailless monkey playing follow the leader. We are the eyes, ears, lips, hips and fingertips of the Universe and we have a tale. Our story, our song, the way we move is what we are. When we share ourselves openly with someone we resonate with, a harmonic transfer occurs, and we form an eternal bond.
That’s the pearl; it’s what you want more than anything else. It’s what we want to do. I don’t do alcohol, tobacco, weapons, gasoline or money. I consider them all a drug. I am a Non sexual. Mostly because of my childhood. I believe in Honor, Integrity, Courage and Honesty. I want to be a Gentleman, and Service is a privilege.
I am not a soiled son; I’m more like a Son of the Soil.
This is true and I love you too!